It happened. I'm going through a burnout. And I didn't even realize it. Not until I sat down at my doctor's office, bawling my eyes out. Chest painful, heavy breathing, heat radiating up my head with a massive headache. Thinking I was either dying, or something was seriously wrong.
The last month and a half was the icing on the cake to months of sleep deprivation, and me thinking that I could, as we say "do it all". It's hard being a mom, a cook, a cleaner, a wife, a daughter, a worker, a driver, a laundromat. I rarely find the time to do anything just for me. I honestly don't know how many women "seem" to get it all done, and look fabulous at the same time. Either they have help, lots of money, or are pretending that things are all good.
The only me time I get, is when I stay up past the kids' bedtime, which I know I shouldn't really, but that's the time I have. I get up really (truly early) because of work, which I don't mind, and I like my job, but getting up at 3:45am and going to bed by 10-11pm, is not enough. The body gets tired.
I got sick last month from a cold, and it turned into a sinus infection that lasted 2 weeks. My occasional insomnia, turned into every other night. At work, I got an aura migraine, in which I couldn't see for almost half an hour. I also had had one two weeks before. It scared me, because I usually only get them maybe once or twice a year (not even). Two weeks ago, I woke up with a light chest pain. I thought, maybe, it was from all the coughing. The next day, it was worse. It spread to the area above my breasts. And the next day after that, I woke up with difficulty breathing, and more pain in my lower chest. I went to the emergency at the hospital. I thought that was it for me, I was having a heart attack. I would never see my kids and husband again. I actually wrote a goodbye letter. All tests (blood work, ct scans of my heart and lungs) came back normal. So what was wrong with me?
A few days off from work, I went back in. I felt so terrible. As I sat at my desk, heat radiated up my neck and behind my head. The chest pains were still there. That morning I was feeling like my muscles were being squeezed. I had never experienced, anything like this in my life. I made an appointment to see my doctor the next day. As she went over my medical reports, she asked me, "How are you doing emotionally? Anything particular going on?" As I started to talk, I began to cry. "I am so tired, I've been experiencing insomnia for many days. I can't control my body. I don't know what's happening to it. I have anxiety about my migraines, I feel this sense of doom. Like I'm going to die. I know, I know, it sounds stupid..."
She looked at me, I looked at her, and it hit me...I am Burnt-Out. My body and my mind, are begging for help. And I didn't even realize until this moment...
The last month and a half was the icing on the cake to months of sleep deprivation, and me thinking that I could, as we say "do it all". It's hard being a mom, a cook, a cleaner, a wife, a daughter, a worker, a driver, a laundromat. I rarely find the time to do anything just for me. I honestly don't know how many women "seem" to get it all done, and look fabulous at the same time. Either they have help, lots of money, or are pretending that things are all good.
The only me time I get, is when I stay up past the kids' bedtime, which I know I shouldn't really, but that's the time I have. I get up really (truly early) because of work, which I don't mind, and I like my job, but getting up at 3:45am and going to bed by 10-11pm, is not enough. The body gets tired.
I got sick last month from a cold, and it turned into a sinus infection that lasted 2 weeks. My occasional insomnia, turned into every other night. At work, I got an aura migraine, in which I couldn't see for almost half an hour. I also had had one two weeks before. It scared me, because I usually only get them maybe once or twice a year (not even). Two weeks ago, I woke up with a light chest pain. I thought, maybe, it was from all the coughing. The next day, it was worse. It spread to the area above my breasts. And the next day after that, I woke up with difficulty breathing, and more pain in my lower chest. I went to the emergency at the hospital. I thought that was it for me, I was having a heart attack. I would never see my kids and husband again. I actually wrote a goodbye letter. All tests (blood work, ct scans of my heart and lungs) came back normal. So what was wrong with me?
A few days off from work, I went back in. I felt so terrible. As I sat at my desk, heat radiated up my neck and behind my head. The chest pains were still there. That morning I was feeling like my muscles were being squeezed. I had never experienced, anything like this in my life. I made an appointment to see my doctor the next day. As she went over my medical reports, she asked me, "How are you doing emotionally? Anything particular going on?" As I started to talk, I began to cry. "I am so tired, I've been experiencing insomnia for many days. I can't control my body. I don't know what's happening to it. I have anxiety about my migraines, I feel this sense of doom. Like I'm going to die. I know, I know, it sounds stupid..."
She looked at me, I looked at her, and it hit me...I am Burnt-Out. My body and my mind, are begging for help. And I didn't even realize until this moment...
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