Mommy? Oh là là!

So while I am on this burnout leave, I am trying to get back to doing creative things that make me feel good. It's been a while since I've done anything crafty. I decided to tackle (slowly) my Ikea Forhoja side table in the kitchen. I bought it last year, and kept putting off painting and staining it. Last fall, my son decided to write in pen "Fish" all over one side about 4 times in huge letters while I was out and hubby was watching him. At first I was p-oed that he did that, but then I figured, he's practicing his spelling right? Lol. So that gave me good incentive to finally take care of the table! I started with sanding the top and sides, especially where the writing was. I chose a walnut colored oil stain from Minwax that I got from Canadian Tire for the top of the table to match my walnut cupboards. I stained the top with the oil based finish with just one coat. I didn't want it to be too dark. I used a regular paint brush and let it dry o...

I got 2 weeks off for sick leave. Within that 2 weeks, I continued to have chest pains and migraines. I felt like I lost all control of my body. And then there were two sleepless nights in a row. By the second night, I begged my husband to please go to the pharmacy and get me any sleeping pill that I could take with my antibiotics that my doctor had prescribed for my sinusitis. That night I took 2 pills, and still did not sleep. I cried on and off the entire night. I felt so tired, so broken, and my mind went to a dark place. I finally fell asleep sometime after 4 am and was then woken up by my son at 6 am. We had planned to go blueberry picking that day. I really didn't want to go, but Saturdays are the only days we as a family are all together. I took two Advils and some Tylenol and headed out the door. I smiled at my kids, and tried my best to have fun. But inside, I was tired, I felt like I had nothing left. When we finally came home, I tried to nap. Instead, I experienced so...

It happened. I'm going through a burnout. And I didn't even realize it. Not until I sat down at my doctor's office, bawling my eyes out. Chest painful, heavy breathing, heat radiating up my head with a massive headache. Thinking I was either dying, or something was seriously wrong. The last month and a half was the icing on the cake to months of sleep deprivation, and me thinking that I could, as we say "do it all". It's hard being a mom, a cook, a cleaner, a wife, a daughter, a worker, a driver, a laundromat. I rarely find the time to do anything just for me. I honestly don't know how many women "seem" to get it all done, and look fabulous at the same time. Either they have help, lots of money, or are pretending that things are all good. The only me time I get, is when I stay up past the kids' bedtime, which I know I shouldn't really, but that's the time I have. I get up really (truly early) because of work, which I don't min...